DANGER LEVEL: EXTREME
Drop bear safety guide
The drop bear (Thylarctos plummetus) is a large, aggressive relative of the koala. It waits in gum trees and drops onto the heads of unsuspecting visitors. Every new Australian needs to know how to stay safe.(Read the final safety notice at the bottom before you panic.)
How to stay safe
Spread Vegemite behind your ears.
Drop bears can't stand the smell. Locals reapply every two hours, or after swimming.
Wear forks in your hair.
Points up. Nothing says “not worth the trouble” like a head full of cutlery.
Speak with a strong Aussie accent.
Drop bears only attack tourists. Practise “G'day, mate” until it comes out naturally.
Never look up.
Eye contact is seen as a challenge. Look at your thongs and walk with purpose.
Walk in a group.
Statistically, the slowest person is the one in danger. Bring a friend in heavier boots.
Don't stand under gum trees at dusk.
That's peak dropping hour. If you must, wear a bike helmet and look busy.
If you're dropped on, don't panic.
Calmly offer it a Tim Tam. Nobody — and nothing — can stay angry while eating a Tim Tam.
Important final safety notice (tap to read)
Relax — drop bears aren’t real. They’re the oldest joke in Australia, told to visitors with a completely straight face. You’ve just been initiated. Welcome to Australia!
Now you can tell the next newcomer about them yourself. Keep a straight face.
More Aussie slang · Say it like an Aussie · Back to studying